Waiting

I’m lucky, in that I’m pretty good at waiting for long-term stuff. It’s probably because my mind is so chaotic, and I’m always finding other things to focus on and worry about. Plus, sometimes I’ll even forget I was waiting for something!

Oddly enough, though, it’s actually shorter waits that are harder for me; when something is weeks or months away, I can relax…but when it’s hours or days away, time can’t seem to pass quickly enough – – and of course, if it’s something big, I find myself sometimes panicking and wishing I had more time left to prepare once it finally does get close! Issues or questions will pop into my head at the last minute – – ones that never occurred to me during all that time I spent waiting. Ha, I wish I could figure out how not to sucker-punch myself like that!

Backhand Blog

On Wednesday I asked the students in my class to describe what they’d been doing earlier in the day, before our afternoon session began. While they scribbled I wrote alongside them, producing a dull summary of actions and toil—until I came to waiting

There is always waiting. It begins in the still-dark morning when my dog barks at a sound I can’t hear. I wait for R. to get out of bed and take her outside so I can go back to sleep. But really so I can go back to waiting.

If you want to write, there’s no way around waiting. Over waiting the writer has no control. Oh, I’m in charge in the sense that I can follow a routine known to be helpful to the production of words. Keep to a schedule is one common suggestion. But there is mystery in writing. Who can say why…

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